Suspense element

It’s supposed to be a special day –and why not, people were waiting for over a year to know what’s their sweat’s worth. Well, JP Morgan has declared the IC (incentive compensation OR Bonus) to its dearest employees. There was a mass gathering and IC letters were distributed like they used to do give away progress cards back at my school. Whatever little interest I had in the entire process had evaporated by then.

I wonder if there would ever be an instant of boundless joy or sorrow – some completely unexpected windfall of (mis)fortune that would sink me, make me feel numb, helpless, vulnerable yet, reversible. Life has been unkind to me to say the least.

Whether it was with my entrance exams or competitions or placements or any thing else which is significant, I had this unwanted gift of premonition - which is at times too accurate to my discomfort. The moment I came out of my JEE exam, I still remember telling my dad, my rank would be around 1000, and I got 1104. Coming out of CAT I said I would get call form all the IIM’s and I had call from four of them. The moment I sent my job application to six companies at IIML, I was sure I will get through JP Morgan, and I did. And today the bonus again did me in. I got exactly what I thought I would, a couple of months ago.

I wish there were some suspense element in my life!